Reflection #11: Looking for You

Ah, the physical body! The wonder it is. Do I really think of my body as my temple for my soul? If I understand myself to be more than a whole bunch of molecules put together, then, isn’t true that even then there is “energy” connecting each molecule to each other? Or even deeper, an energy holding each molecule together? And where does that energy come from? And why? 

As I really look at my deepest intentions, they are not only for an ideal vegan, gluten free, healthy chocolate cake…I just search for happiness through that. All my actions are driven by my idealistic unconscious desire for happiness. 

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I imagine myself, in a quiet, beautiful tropical beach, in a beautiful sunset, looking out the ocean. The breeze is gentle, my spirit is calm, my mind deeply reflective. My body instinctively wants to participate in the moment; all my senses want to be engaged in thanking the moment. I reflect on the amazing experiences in life, in how much I have in the present. Softening my eyes, I look into the sun, and raise my arms in joy! Then my body overwhelmed, bows offering my respect to the Sun. In the solitude of the moment, without expectations.  

I then raise my heart slightly, as if I were looking for you, Divine Love again, with my hands still feeling the ground, and my back support my heart’s search. I then shift my legs back, and dig my toes and hands, looking for strength, remaining hovering over the ground, opened to its fortitude. As I dive down and forward, my lower body touches Mother Earth, grounded in its embrace, while my heart lifts again, to search for Your Loving Eyes. I raise my hips, to open my back to the sky, and focus my drishti (focus, gaze), in my belly; please soften my hardened back, carrying all my worries; my crown towards the ground.  

Surya Namaskar A – Ashtanga Yoga

Grounded, I breathe, without rush, just present, grateful, asking for humility. I am still in Your search – where are you? Why am I here? What is the point of looking for you through small little happiness?  

I walk my feet towards my hands, arching my back, leading with my aching heart, chest opened, missing You! Retracing my steps, hands grasp the ground, touching it; experiencing in the ground Your expression of support, constant giving Love – I bow.  

My entire body slowly raises, to look for You, arms in the air, above my head, where I started, surrendering to the weapon of Your beauty, the original beauty. My hands then meet, in front of my heart chakra. My eyes closed. A tear runs, carrying all my questions, uncertainty, hankering, and most importantly, the undeniable love I feel for You. I know, one day I will be with You, in perfect, never ending, always expanding Divine, Selfless and complete Love.